In a past post, What's In A Name? which was over 4 months ago, I wrote about calling my nmom "Mom". I still call her Mom when I am around my friends and most times around my brother and sister-n-law, but I still don't call her anything when I am around her. The other day, my sister-n-law said, "You know your "mom", "{her name}", "that lady" or whatever you are calling her right now, said that she wanted to blah blah blah." I don't remember the rest of the sentence but my sister-n-law pretty much called me out on what I had been calling her. You see, it depends on the day, who I am talking to, and where our relationship is at the moment, on what I will call her to other people.
When I am home and I am talking about my family, most of my friends have to really listen to tell which "Mom" I am referring to. Is it my adoptive Mom or my natural Mom? So I have to start putting names or adjectives before the "Mom" word some times.
But...I am starting to want to call my natural mom "Mom" now. I really get the urge and would really like to do it, but I am afraid it will change our relationship or even change the relationship that is building with me and my half-sister. So I think I am going to ask my half-sister if she wouldn't mind me calling our mother "Mom". If so, then I think I am there in my life, that I could be able to call her that.
So what is the problem? I feel that if I am going to call someone "Mom" and mean it then I need to feel that they are my mother. I do feel that my adoptive mother is "Mom" and have no problem calling her Mom. I do feel that my natural mother is my "mother" and that is where the problem lies. I know she is my mother, but is she really my "Mom"?
Maybe my half-sister will say "No, and not just No but you know what NO" and this will always be settled. Hmmmmm...just pondering.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i remember you recounting how your nmom didn't tell your sister about you until reunion. i remembered this when i found this online today, posted on AAT:
"... the wrecker told me that if i ever spoke top anyone about the baby/surrender, they would come and take any other babies i ever had.
"this was after i signed the papers and after they picked me up off the floor."
so besides expecting negative reactions and rejection from anyone she told (as i did), this threat may also have been used on your nmom to keep her quiet.
just a possibility ... and glad to hear that your reunion is going better. :)
Post a Comment